Monday, October 26, 2009

Day 5: 20 Day Commitment to Becoming a More Mindful Mother

So far I think I have mentioned self-care in all the last 4 days posts. Today's topic is to TAKE TIME FOR OURSELVES. As an attachment parenting family sometimes it feels like the children syphon off all of the time and energy. There are really not very many moments in the day when I am truly alone except for preschool time because Dee has a precious nap at this point in the day. I share my time, body, bed, breasts, bath, heart and soul with my children. I do this willingly because I believe this will help my children feel nurtured and secure when they decide to step away from me. Hopefully they will always know that they have a permanent home base wherever H and I are.

To give this much means that I need to invest in my self and my reserves. If I do not I will not have the resources to be the parent I want to be. I have noticed that I have been short and angry lately. I know this is because I am not taking enough time to focus on me. I think that is really what began this journey. I am doing this for me and as a byproduct my children will hopefully benefit. Often I feel guilty if I take time for me because something else is not being done. I resolve to let this go.

One of the main suggestions on Parenting Passageway is to find a mothering mentor. I do not really have any one person that I could point to and say yes she is the one I look to. I take bits and pieces from the mother's I know. The lack of this person in my life probably stems in part from living so far away from most of our family and friends. Heart to hearts are just not the same over the phone. I have felt the need to branch out and make more 'Mom friends'. I do have some great women in my life that I can talk and vent to and I need to reach out to them more often.

My Plan:

1. Get to the gym. I need to stop making excuses and just go no matter what. I always feel better when I am getting to the gym regularly.

2. Have H take over nighttime duty with the baby some weekends. I have already started this and I feel a million times better.

3. Laugh: my kids are funny and if I'm not in a negative mood I see this.

4. Take time every day to do something just for me and not feel like I am being selfish

5. Call and connect with girlfriends. It always feels great to talk to or get out with the girls.

6. Be grateful for what I have. My life is EXCELLENT! I have a loving, supportive, cooking husband, 2 beautiful healthy kids, 2 warm and fuzzy doggies, a nice home, enough money to sustain us, a support system of people who love me. I could go on and on. I think I will make one day a week dedicated to listing what I feel grateful for at that point in time.

7. Try something new: not sure what yet but I'm going to find something new to experience.

Well my darling daughter is awake and calling so that's all for now.

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