Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Attachment Parenting and Indepence is it an either/or?

I was recently reading this article why-my-kids-are-not-center-of-my-world on what modern parenting is doing to harm our kids and why they will not be able to function in the world because parents dote on their children and take away the realities of the world. I agree with encouraging children to problem solve, deal with ambiguity, deal with violence and hurt feelings. So in principle I agree with a lot of what this mother is saying. I would also say that although I would lay down my life for them my children are not the center of my world and I do not dote on them.
However I do take issue with one of the comments on the post that attachment parenting as a modern parenting mindset prevents independence and the ability to self soothe. What do babies being comforted and having their needs met have to do with learning to deal with the realities of the world? Is this person saying that if you meet your babies needs that later in life this adult will not be able to function in society without handholding? That's quite the slippery slope. I am of the opinion that there are different stages in a child's life and the infancy stage is not the one in which I teach independence. There is plenty of time later in life when the child understands consequences and logic and patience to teach this. I guess it irks me that feels they have the right to judge how independent my child will be based on my parenting preferences.  My children happen to be very independent now able to play and problem solve independently. Both were worn, breastfed, coslept, neither was sleep trained and we responded to their crying. So in theory, although not proven, AP did not affect their independence or ability to problem solve.

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