I believe in child-led weaning and nursing until at least the age of 2. However, when M self-weaned at 17 months old I did not put up a fuss or encourage him to continue. Why was this? I really do not know other than I was young and working full-time. I knew there would be other babies and more nursing. Also M was never a comfort nurser. He was an efficient drain the boob, get off and get busy with other things kind of babe. He didn't nurse lazily and stare into my eyes and make it an intense bonding experience for us. Nope he wanted his milk and he wanted it fast in a no-nonsense kind of way. Maybe that's why that nursing relationship was so easy for me to let go. I am hypothesizing that my current relationship with D my daughter will be much different. She was a natural nurser from the start we got started within the hour of her birth and we have not looked back.
I had many obstacles to overcome with M, NICU, poor latch, mastitis, oversupply. My mother in law and midwife gave me 2 pieces of advice that kept me going during this difficult time. My mother in law said "just give it 6 weeks that's what it takes". It was true that we had most of the kinks worked out by then. My midwife said "his mouth will grow and your breast will not". So true and so obvious but I needed to hear it. During my RN education we were taught that with a proper latch breastfeeding SHOULD NOT HURT. Well.... it. hurt. with M, and with D. I have learned newborns are voracious little creatures that will get what they want even if they have to suck your nipple right off. This is not a comfortable experience no matter what anyone tells you or at least it was not for me. Mastitis is the MFer of all flu's. It's like having a raging flu and hten having someone insert razor blades into your breasts and nipples. Add on top of that a newborn baby and postpartum hormones. You are in for one hell of a ride. I got through it with quark cheese and a professional grade pump. After the first 6 weeks things became more comfortable and more relaxed. I found my nursing groove. There were still bumps in the road but they were surmountable.
My internal struggle would be my fantasy of being the ideal attachment parenting mama who never needs to leave her baby. However I NEED to get out, get away. This need often makes me feel guilty when I satisfy it especially since D hates the bottle. If I satisfy my need I am neglecting hers. When I try to get a few hours uninterrupted sleep and H has to use the paci to satisfy D instead of what she truly wants (the breast) I am satisfying my need at the expense of hers. It's a delicate balancing act, trying to keep my needs met and hers as well. It feels like they are often in direct conflict. While it may seem great to be so needed by another sometimes I feel so trapped. Other times I feel warm and fuzzy when she is latched and trying to fish hook her toes into my nose. So you see it's a struggle at times but not one I would willingly give up.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Day 11: 20 Day Commitment to Becoming a More Mindful Mother
I've been stuck on this topic for a couple days since life has been a little overwhelming. Not a lot of computer time.
Today's topic: Making my home work for me...
The first thing that comes to mind is comfortability. I want the people I love whether they live with me or not to feel comfortable in my home. I guess this boils down to a sense of warmth, welcoming and belonging. Being a homemaker actually brings me great joy that I never thought it would. I always thought the career world would bring that fulfillment and joy but I am never truly happier than when I am spending quality time in my home with my loved ones. I love to make good food and share it, I like create handmade items for people, I like to have tea and snacks for those visitors that drop by for a chat. The motivation to do these things usually sparks when I feel cared for.
This means I have to work on maintaining me so that I can maintain my house. I have been working on this. I am making progress and progress is good. I am getting out more and spending more time on me. Still some things to be added in but I wasn't built in a day and I won't get to where I want to be in a day either.
A major part of what makes a home work or not is whether or not the physical space works. H and I have been discussing this for a while. Our home feels cluttered. Our yard feels cluttered. We are currently working on the outdoors. When snow flys we will be focusing our attentions indoors on a major decluttering process. H wants us each to pair down to 100 items. There is a current blog challenge on this not sure which one I will have to ask. For the most part I am a purger not a saver but lately I have been saving a lot. I love a deal and usually cannot resist getting something I know we COULD use if it is on sale. I think I will have to go on a no buying spree for anything non-essential for us to get our STUFF pared down. I will also be referring to flylady's site when embarking on this journey. Our STUFF is getting out of control and with the basement reno's we do not have much storage space. It is true that the less stuff you have the less time it takes you to clean.
Maternity leave has left me in my house more than I ever am when I am working full time. This means that the cleanliness of the house has a compounded effect on my mood. I can breathe easier, relax faster, work more efficiently in a tidy house.
Food is one part of the home and what works that I feel I am actually excelling. Both H and I love food and the process of creating and sharing good food. As an effort to save money I started baking our breads. Now if I can make something myself I will not buy it in the store. I will buy the ingredients myself. This makes me feel GREAT! It also controls the amount of allergens M eats since soy is in almost every packaged product you buy including chocolate chips. Anyways that's a different post entirely.
The feeling in my home is hopefully warm and inviting. We laugh and giggle and play a lot in our home. Usually someone is quick to point out if another is grumpy and we all try to make it better. I would love to make it more inviting with more comfortable places to sit especially in the kitchen as this is where the heart of my home is and also where people tend to gather. I have a beautifully refinished kitchen table now I just need chairs to match. I would like to feel more peaceful at home. I would also like for the center or heart of the home to not have a tv but unfortunately in this house their really is only one place for it. I feel like the tv sucks away good conversation during get togethers and also sometimes in the evenings with H and I. Giving it up though is not a step I am currently ready to take though. I also want to change the colours of the walls. They are nice but they are not MY colours since they were chosen by the previous owner. That will have to wait until after maternity leave though when our belts are not strapped so tight.
Well since this post has spanned quite a few days it is a little disjointed and it appears I have lost my train of thought. What makes your home work for you?
Today's topic: Making my home work for me...
The first thing that comes to mind is comfortability. I want the people I love whether they live with me or not to feel comfortable in my home. I guess this boils down to a sense of warmth, welcoming and belonging. Being a homemaker actually brings me great joy that I never thought it would. I always thought the career world would bring that fulfillment and joy but I am never truly happier than when I am spending quality time in my home with my loved ones. I love to make good food and share it, I like create handmade items for people, I like to have tea and snacks for those visitors that drop by for a chat. The motivation to do these things usually sparks when I feel cared for.
This means I have to work on maintaining me so that I can maintain my house. I have been working on this. I am making progress and progress is good. I am getting out more and spending more time on me. Still some things to be added in but I wasn't built in a day and I won't get to where I want to be in a day either.
A major part of what makes a home work or not is whether or not the physical space works. H and I have been discussing this for a while. Our home feels cluttered. Our yard feels cluttered. We are currently working on the outdoors. When snow flys we will be focusing our attentions indoors on a major decluttering process. H wants us each to pair down to 100 items. There is a current blog challenge on this not sure which one I will have to ask. For the most part I am a purger not a saver but lately I have been saving a lot. I love a deal and usually cannot resist getting something I know we COULD use if it is on sale. I think I will have to go on a no buying spree for anything non-essential for us to get our STUFF pared down. I will also be referring to flylady's site when embarking on this journey. Our STUFF is getting out of control and with the basement reno's we do not have much storage space. It is true that the less stuff you have the less time it takes you to clean.
Maternity leave has left me in my house more than I ever am when I am working full time. This means that the cleanliness of the house has a compounded effect on my mood. I can breathe easier, relax faster, work more efficiently in a tidy house.
Food is one part of the home and what works that I feel I am actually excelling. Both H and I love food and the process of creating and sharing good food. As an effort to save money I started baking our breads. Now if I can make something myself I will not buy it in the store. I will buy the ingredients myself. This makes me feel GREAT! It also controls the amount of allergens M eats since soy is in almost every packaged product you buy including chocolate chips. Anyways that's a different post entirely.
The feeling in my home is hopefully warm and inviting. We laugh and giggle and play a lot in our home. Usually someone is quick to point out if another is grumpy and we all try to make it better. I would love to make it more inviting with more comfortable places to sit especially in the kitchen as this is where the heart of my home is and also where people tend to gather. I have a beautifully refinished kitchen table now I just need chairs to match. I would like to feel more peaceful at home. I would also like for the center or heart of the home to not have a tv but unfortunately in this house their really is only one place for it. I feel like the tv sucks away good conversation during get togethers and also sometimes in the evenings with H and I. Giving it up though is not a step I am currently ready to take though. I also want to change the colours of the walls. They are nice but they are not MY colours since they were chosen by the previous owner. That will have to wait until after maternity leave though when our belts are not strapped so tight.
Well since this post has spanned quite a few days it is a little disjointed and it appears I have lost my train of thought. What makes your home work for you?
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Day 8: 20 Day Commitment to Becoming a More Mindful Mother
So it appears that I missed Day 8. It's about Nature! So I guess my posts will have to be renumbered lol.
I have a very firm belief that seems to fit with Waldorf and Steiner. I believe we need time outside every day. We all need to connect with nature. It resets the equilibrium and clears the head. Nature chases the grumpies away or at least it does for me. Our society spends most of it's day 'plugged in' to the TV, the net, the radio. There is usually some sort of media playing in the background if not in the forefront. I believe we all need to unplug daily and get out into nature. There really is no substitute. The imaginary games and activities M comes up with outside are fabulous. I have got to take the time to record some of them on paper so we can look back at what he used to play and how he is progressing
We bought this house mostly for the yard. Right now with the reno's on the basement the yard is being somewhat neglected. This means it is less enjoyable to spend time in. With our porch gone and temporary stairs up it is also more difficult to get in and out easily. During the spring and summer M and I were out there every day. In this town we have at least 6 months of winter and cold. Which means we need to suck up the sunshine and warmer weather while it's here. Hopefully this weekend we can put the yard into some semblance of order and get out there and enjoy it. However even with the yard in the state it is in we are fortunate enough to have a gorgeous park and wonderful playground right next door. So there is really no excuse for not getting out into nature. Yet we will go days where we go from the car to the house and do not stop to enjoy the great outdoors. When we were outside every day M slept better, ate better, behaved better. He has always been a little nature bug. He used to sit in and dig in the flower pots for hours last fall. Time to get the shovels out and start digging before the ground is frozen.
Maybe the reason we do not go outside as much as I would like is that I always feel like I should be doing something inside. Cooking, cleaning, organizing all of this is indoor work. These activities seem to have a louder call for me. I have a hard time just hanging out at the park or dawdling down the path for a walk. It seems I need some sort of stimulation. Maybe outside time would assist me in my goal of reconnecting with M? When we are outside I am more 'present' with my kids. There are less distractions and I am not doing something else at the same time as interacting with them. But a focus outside for me would probably also help. There are many tasks to be done out there. Parenting passageway says there is no bad weather only bad clothes. I am not quite sure she has been out in 40 below weather! Nonetheless it is not 40 below right now. She also makes suggestions for bringing the outdoors in which I am going to implement this winter. I start my seeds in March but I'm sure there are things we can do in December and January. M would have a blast planting an indoor herb garden. He loves to pick fresh herbs and add them to his various concoctions.
I will come back and finish this post later as I cannot connect to the parenting passageway website and there is a post I want to read on connecting kids to nature. The site was down all day. Which puts me yet another day behind in this series. Today is activity and errand filled but perhaps we could hop on over to the soccer field after gymnastics with our soccer ball. Must pack warm clothes it's a tad bit chilly and the soccer ball of course.
Today's goal: Get outside!
This weeks outdoor goals/plans:
Start vermicomposting
leaf cleanup
recycling cleanup
M's playhouse cleanup
pick up sled from Granny
Move dirt pile
turn compost
cut down perrenials
dog poo (ICK!) love my fluffy friends do not love picking up their business.
Phew! there is lots to do outside if anyone has any tips on where to put/how to occupy D I'd love to hear them. Most of this work is rather difficult while babywearing.
Monday, November 2, 2009
November Goals
10 Goals for November:
1. Get 5 items for sale up on facebook
2. Take all unworn and unwanted items out of my dresser
3. Make a list of xmas gifts that can be made and get half done.
4. Make a study plan for my nephrology certification exam
5. Start a tickle trunk
6. Clean out chest in living room of birth supplies and drop off at midwives for someone else to use. RETURN TENS MACHINE!
7. Have basement assessed by an engineer and start on repairs
8. Cook supper at least 4x per week
9. Organize art supplies and crafting stuff into one space.
10. Get into an exercise routine
1. Get 5 items for sale up on facebook
2. Take all unworn and unwanted items out of my dresser
3. Make a list of xmas gifts that can be made and get half done.
4. Make a study plan for my nephrology certification exam
5. Start a tickle trunk
6. Clean out chest in living room of birth supplies and drop off at midwives for someone else to use. RETURN TENS MACHINE!
7. Have basement assessed by an engineer and start on repairs
8. Cook supper at least 4x per week
9. Organize art supplies and crafting stuff into one space.
10. Get into an exercise routine
Day 10: 20 Day Commitment to Becoming a More Mindful Mother
Sooooo I have been MIA for a few days. The weekend was busy with Halloween and the furnace issue is still not resolved so lots of contractors in and out of the house. My poor house looks like a tornado whirled through it. Ah well, all will get put right again.
Day 10 is on realistic expectations. I have been reflecting on realistic expectations all weekend. I had read the post in advance. On Thursday night H and I had a date night and I brought up the topic of our expectations of M. H said he had been contemplating this as well. Great! We are already on the same wavelength. We both agreed that we have some unrealistic expectations of both M and D. With D it's mostly sleep related which is referred to in an earlier post. So we are working on correcting our expectations of that.
M is a very articulate and coordinated child for his age. He also has more concentration and bladder control than the average 3.5yr old. Since I do not know many kids his age I have been trying to observe those I see in his preschool and gymnastics and this is what I have been noticing. I think because of these capabilities we often place higher expectations on him than his age dictates. He acts and talks big much of the time but he is still very little.
He is in a very turbulent emotional state these days and little things can set him off. We need to work at avoiding the angry states which seem to be getting more frequent. I need to find some calming influences for him. Books are good and so is music. Anyone have any other suggestions? I am working on being more physically affectionate during these times. Often with the baby I feel touched out but he needs this connection on a daily basis and I am working on making this happen.
He is also very bossy and whiny. I am struggling with this because when I ask him to use a nicer voice he says "but this is my girllllll voice!" I really dislike his girrrllll voice! If his bossing does not work he has an all out meltdown. I am going to try instituting more 'I like' statements and giving information statements. For example 'I like when you say please can I have a drink' because his current method of asking for a drink is "I'M THIRSTY! I'MMMMMMMMMMMM THIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSTYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" If his statement is ignored the noise level escalates.
We also ask that he get dressed for school and often get frustrated and give ultimatums when hes not fully dressed 15-30min after the request. I know that we ask because we've seen that he can get dressed in 2min flat when there is inspiration. But there will not be daily inspiration. Parenting passageway suggests less requests, less words, less choices and more action with the 3yr old. So this is what I am working on. I will bring an outfit downstairs and help him into it without asking if he wants to. If he rebels and wants to choose his own then I will lead him upstairs and physically help him put on what he chooses.
I realize he is not going to cooperate and will resist the rhythm of the day. How do I find the strength to let it roll off? I want to enjoy my days regardless. I guess this is part of my inner work.
I am doing a lot of observing and critical thinking in regards to M so more changes to my parenting practices and our day will probably follow. This is key for me to head off some of the meltdowns (my own and M's). What are our triggers?
My realization: It's easy to stay in tune with a nursing baby and even a nursing toddler. I think those physical check-ins allow me to take the moment to really observe my child and see what they are feeling or needing. Now that M is so much more independent and not nursing the distance between us has widened. I am not as tuned in to him. My goal is to get us a little closer. Pretty soon he is going to be too big to want to snuggle with Mama. I do not want to miss this golden opportunity.
Day 10 is on realistic expectations. I have been reflecting on realistic expectations all weekend. I had read the post in advance. On Thursday night H and I had a date night and I brought up the topic of our expectations of M. H said he had been contemplating this as well. Great! We are already on the same wavelength. We both agreed that we have some unrealistic expectations of both M and D. With D it's mostly sleep related which is referred to in an earlier post. So we are working on correcting our expectations of that.
M is a very articulate and coordinated child for his age. He also has more concentration and bladder control than the average 3.5yr old. Since I do not know many kids his age I have been trying to observe those I see in his preschool and gymnastics and this is what I have been noticing. I think because of these capabilities we often place higher expectations on him than his age dictates. He acts and talks big much of the time but he is still very little.
He is in a very turbulent emotional state these days and little things can set him off. We need to work at avoiding the angry states which seem to be getting more frequent. I need to find some calming influences for him. Books are good and so is music. Anyone have any other suggestions? I am working on being more physically affectionate during these times. Often with the baby I feel touched out but he needs this connection on a daily basis and I am working on making this happen.
He is also very bossy and whiny. I am struggling with this because when I ask him to use a nicer voice he says "but this is my girllllll voice!" I really dislike his girrrllll voice! If his bossing does not work he has an all out meltdown. I am going to try instituting more 'I like' statements and giving information statements. For example 'I like when you say please can I have a drink' because his current method of asking for a drink is "I'M THIRSTY! I'MMMMMMMMMMMM THIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSTYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" If his statement is ignored the noise level escalates.
We also ask that he get dressed for school and often get frustrated and give ultimatums when hes not fully dressed 15-30min after the request. I know that we ask because we've seen that he can get dressed in 2min flat when there is inspiration. But there will not be daily inspiration. Parenting passageway suggests less requests, less words, less choices and more action with the 3yr old. So this is what I am working on. I will bring an outfit downstairs and help him into it without asking if he wants to. If he rebels and wants to choose his own then I will lead him upstairs and physically help him put on what he chooses.
I realize he is not going to cooperate and will resist the rhythm of the day. How do I find the strength to let it roll off? I want to enjoy my days regardless. I guess this is part of my inner work.
I am doing a lot of observing and critical thinking in regards to M so more changes to my parenting practices and our day will probably follow. This is key for me to head off some of the meltdowns (my own and M's). What are our triggers?
My realization: It's easy to stay in tune with a nursing baby and even a nursing toddler. I think those physical check-ins allow me to take the moment to really observe my child and see what they are feeling or needing. Now that M is so much more independent and not nursing the distance between us has widened. I am not as tuned in to him. My goal is to get us a little closer. Pretty soon he is going to be too big to want to snuggle with Mama. I do not want to miss this golden opportunity.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Setting limits Calmly: Day 9 in 20 Days to Becoming a More Mindful Mother
This topic is my life right now. I am learning that 3yr olds are boundary pushers. M pushes to the MAX! I have been losing my temper over his 'disobedience' lately. I'm currently reevaluating my perspective on the matter. As Parenting Passageway notes he is currently just like a giant eyeball and is absorbing and learning and definitely not filtering any of the information that comes his way.
All of his transgressions have a learning aspect to them. Really it's the mess that bothers me and that's an issue that's mine and he should not feel the backlash from it.
That being said he does need to learn that we do not paint the filing cabinet green and yellow while mama's making supper. We do not put mascara on our lips and teeth while mama is on the phone. We do not pour all the toothpaste, aftershave and moisturizer into a container and stir it up into a fabulously pretty, sticky gloppy mess with mama's favorite tweezers while mama is putting D down for her nap. I really do marvel at how quick he is in his creations. Now, how to get my point across without losing my temper and raising my voice? The most important realization for me is that he is not doing this to defy me. He is doing it because he lives in the moment and at that moment his wild imagination thought up this extremely fun, extremely messy thing for his little hands to do. He cannot comprehend consequences and he really has no scruples or morals yet. He will imitate what he sees so if what he sees is me angry and lashing out at him that's what he's going to do. Time to add some more tools to my parenting toolbox.
I thought I was home-free when we made it through the "terrible twos" with this sweet well-behaved child. However I have now realized that three is the age of destruction. 3 yr olds have this huge capacity for learning, imitating and manipulating objects. Seriously, if you showed a 3yr old how to start a car he could do it! A 2yr old would not be able to. These newfound capabilities are what is causing the destruction in my house. It's time to channel this energy, enthusiasm and creativity. Projects and nature time that's my plan. It fits in with the rhythm of the day.
There are key times when he is destructive. At these times he is tired or bored. 2-3pm is now going to be rest time. 3-5pm will hopefully be outside time. There's snow on the ground today and M has no snow boots so that is the first order of business.
Realistic expectations are something I struggle with. I often think "he should be able to ..." That's when we start having the battle of wills. Just because he can one day does not mean he can or will the next day. He needs gentle physical reminders and help from me if the first request is met with a "NO!"
From Parenting Passageway
All of his transgressions have a learning aspect to them. Really it's the mess that bothers me and that's an issue that's mine and he should not feel the backlash from it.
That being said he does need to learn that we do not paint the filing cabinet green and yellow while mama's making supper. We do not put mascara on our lips and teeth while mama is on the phone. We do not pour all the toothpaste, aftershave and moisturizer into a container and stir it up into a fabulously pretty, sticky gloppy mess with mama's favorite tweezers while mama is putting D down for her nap. I really do marvel at how quick he is in his creations. Now, how to get my point across without losing my temper and raising my voice? The most important realization for me is that he is not doing this to defy me. He is doing it because he lives in the moment and at that moment his wild imagination thought up this extremely fun, extremely messy thing for his little hands to do. He cannot comprehend consequences and he really has no scruples or morals yet. He will imitate what he sees so if what he sees is me angry and lashing out at him that's what he's going to do. Time to add some more tools to my parenting toolbox.
I thought I was home-free when we made it through the "terrible twos" with this sweet well-behaved child. However I have now realized that three is the age of destruction. 3 yr olds have this huge capacity for learning, imitating and manipulating objects. Seriously, if you showed a 3yr old how to start a car he could do it! A 2yr old would not be able to. These newfound capabilities are what is causing the destruction in my house. It's time to channel this energy, enthusiasm and creativity. Projects and nature time that's my plan. It fits in with the rhythm of the day.
There are key times when he is destructive. At these times he is tired or bored. 2-3pm is now going to be rest time. 3-5pm will hopefully be outside time. There's snow on the ground today and M has no snow boots so that is the first order of business.
Realistic expectations are something I struggle with. I often think "he should be able to ..." That's when we start having the battle of wills. Just because he can one day does not mean he can or will the next day. He needs gentle physical reminders and help from me if the first request is met with a "NO!"
From Parenting Passageway
Typical developmental things about the three and a half -year-olds include (this is according to the Gesell Institute, not necessarily my personal opinion!):
- Turbulent, troubled period of disequilibrium, the simplest event or occasion can elicit total rebellion; strong and secure gross motor abilities may turn more into stumbling, falling, at this age; new- found verbal ability such as “I’ll cut you in pieces!” and lots of whining
- May refuse to do things a lot, or howl and scream, or say a lot of “I can’t” I won’t” kinds of things
- Three and a half to four may be the height for the most “WHY?” “WHERE?” “WHAT?” kinds of questions
- Demanding, bossy, turbulent, troubled but mainly due to emotional insecurity
- May refuse to take part in daily routine
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Rhythm: Day 7 of 20 Days to Becoming a More Mindful Mother
Today's topic is rhythm. This means the flow of the day. Parenting Passageway has a distinctly Waldorf view of the world. So this post did not really resonate with me at first. However thinking about for a little longer I realized that there is a flow to our day and if it gets disrupted we all feel out of sorts. The Waldorf perspective is that children under 7 do not need activities outside of the home. Maybe if I lived out of town or off the grid this would feel true. I think preschool and gymnastics are great activities to look forward to. I think they help with his listening, social and motor skills. Yes he could probably get this at home but he is having fun and it gives me a much needed break.
There are also some things I would like to add to our day but am unsure how to accomplish this. We need to get outside more but currently our yard and porch are in disarray. We need to get the dogs walked but D hates the stroller and my back is bothering me so long walks with her in the carrier are out as well. We also need a rest time in the afternoon. I am just unsure of how to get M to settle down and sit still without the use of the TV. The afternoon would be an ideal time for a walk although this is usually when I get supper started. Maybe I can plan ahead for the weeks meals and get some extra prep and cooking done on the weekend? Maybe D would tolerate the wagon with her brother?
The dog keeps disrupting D's morning nap. it often throws of our whole day. This I can fix Now! I am moving the dog's bed out of our room and into the living room. I do not know why I did not think of this before. She makes me livid when she wakes the baby but that's her room too at the moment. So I have to work on making it a space that's not hers and she has to be invited into.
How to fit everything in? I have to let some things go.
I have been trying to get grocery shopping done without the kids so they are not dragged around on a bunch of errands wasting their whole day. I also think that minimizing our possessions and reorganizing the house would decrease the amount of time I have to spend tidying, cleaning and picking up. This is something H and I are going to work on together. How much stuff do we really need? Is it hampering the flow of our day or our space? If so time to let it go.
Getting up earlier would help me get everything done. I just need to find some of that inner discipline. I have been wanting to fit a workout into my day and there's no where to put it. D does not like strangers is still quite young for childminding. Early morning would work if I can only just get out of bed. Maybe I should make that my goal next week? Or maybe I should start tommorow?
I also feel I need to sit down and play with M more. I try to avoid entertaining him because he can get so demanding and once I give him my full attention he does not want to let it go. But if I create a time in the day when D is napping that is totally focused on him and ends when she wakes up then he will likely know that the time is over when she wakes and go back to amusing himself. He needs a better rhythm to his day now that the weather is turning and we will have less time outside. He gets antsy and now I am realizing why. When we were gardening daily he was much happier and lighter.
I also have made a point this week of not describing myself as busy. Being busy has negative conotations and generally makes me feel like I cannot relax and enjoy life because I should always be doing something. I really think this is helping.
Hmmm this has given me much food for thought...
There are also some things I would like to add to our day but am unsure how to accomplish this. We need to get outside more but currently our yard and porch are in disarray. We need to get the dogs walked but D hates the stroller and my back is bothering me so long walks with her in the carrier are out as well. We also need a rest time in the afternoon. I am just unsure of how to get M to settle down and sit still without the use of the TV. The afternoon would be an ideal time for a walk although this is usually when I get supper started. Maybe I can plan ahead for the weeks meals and get some extra prep and cooking done on the weekend? Maybe D would tolerate the wagon with her brother?
The dog keeps disrupting D's morning nap. it often throws of our whole day. This I can fix Now! I am moving the dog's bed out of our room and into the living room. I do not know why I did not think of this before. She makes me livid when she wakes the baby but that's her room too at the moment. So I have to work on making it a space that's not hers and she has to be invited into.
How to fit everything in? I have to let some things go.
I have been trying to get grocery shopping done without the kids so they are not dragged around on a bunch of errands wasting their whole day. I also think that minimizing our possessions and reorganizing the house would decrease the amount of time I have to spend tidying, cleaning and picking up. This is something H and I are going to work on together. How much stuff do we really need? Is it hampering the flow of our day or our space? If so time to let it go.
Getting up earlier would help me get everything done. I just need to find some of that inner discipline. I have been wanting to fit a workout into my day and there's no where to put it. D does not like strangers is still quite young for childminding. Early morning would work if I can only just get out of bed. Maybe I should make that my goal next week? Or maybe I should start tommorow?
I also feel I need to sit down and play with M more. I try to avoid entertaining him because he can get so demanding and once I give him my full attention he does not want to let it go. But if I create a time in the day when D is napping that is totally focused on him and ends when she wakes up then he will likely know that the time is over when she wakes and go back to amusing himself. He needs a better rhythm to his day now that the weather is turning and we will have less time outside. He gets antsy and now I am realizing why. When we were gardening daily he was much happier and lighter.
I also have made a point this week of not describing myself as busy. Being busy has negative conotations and generally makes me feel like I cannot relax and enjoy life because I should always be doing something. I really think this is helping.
Hmmm this has given me much food for thought...
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